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If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
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Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
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Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
I\'m living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
I have four children which is not bad considering I\'m not a Catholic.
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Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
Copy from one, it\'s plagiarism; copy from two, it\'s research.
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn\'t.
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Only one man ever understood me, and he didn\'t understand me.
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
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I\'m all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let\'s start with typewriters.
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Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
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\'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible\', she said, \'but that alone doesn\'t make it true.\'
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
The company doesn\'t tell me what to say, and I don\'t tell themwhere to stick it.
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
A good sermon should be like a woman\'s skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it\'s the exact opposite.
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, \'Why god? Why me?\' and the thundering voice of God answered, \'There\'s just something about you that pisses me off.\'
The truth is more important than the facts.
You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I\'ve only ever had one.
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If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
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\'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible\', she said, \'but that alone doesn\'t make it true.\'
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can\'t get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
My last cow just died, so I won\'t need your bull anymore.
The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
If quantum physics doesn\'t confuse you then you don\'t understand it.
Hearing nuns\' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said \'You\'ve been promoted\'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said \'You\'ve been promoted again\'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said \'You\'re managing director.\' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said \'What happened to you?\' And I Said \'I careered off the road.\'
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A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
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I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
The company doesn\'t tell me what to say, and I don\'t tell themwhere to stick it.
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
If women didn\'t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
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I\'d stop eating chocolate, but I\'m no quitter.
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If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
Oh for pity\'s sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
Once you\'ve written TBicycle, you never forget how.
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.
I hope life isn\'t a big joke ... because I don\'t get it.
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
It\'s the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
Minsky\'s Second Law: Don\'t just do something. Stand there.
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/27/(Fri) 00:17
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